Monday, December 8, 2008

T'was the Night before Electoral College Voting

T'was the Night before Electoral College voting
(The 14th of December if you are noting);

The ballots were all printed and placed with care,
In hopes that the end of the 2008 presidential contest would soon be there;

The 538 members of the Electoral College were asleep in their beds,
While visions of casting their ballots filled their heads;

Only someone in Hawaii’s Office of Records was stirring
In the dark of night inside this stately house
Moving quite stealthily was a man named “The Mouse”
Who was known for his skills in counterfeiting;

He was dressed all in black, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were purposely camouflaged with ashes and soot;
A bundle of tools he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a burglar just opening his pack.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
He pulled out his plates from his large velvet sack--
Engraving tools, special paper and a Hawaii State Seal
Inks of bright colors, a signature book, optic enhancers—to name just a few; the purpose,
An election to seal
He had all his tools lined up for his task
His magnum opus, his mark on history, within grasp.

With the art of a master who excelled at his craft,
He chuckled with glee at what he would gain,
Cash and power that none could disdain;
For in his craftsman’s hand he held the key
The one thing that stood in the way of certain victory
A certificate of birth, with all of the luster
That would pass any test that Keyes and Berg could muster;

Once finished he filed the document under H
He cleared the area so nothing was disturbed
And laying a gloved hand on the door he left so quick
Not even the night watchman saw the light flick

He scampered away with his tools and his sack,
But unfortunately he didn’t watch his back.

Dateline December 15, 2008.
Manny “The Mouse” Fletcher found dead,
A single bullet to his head. No suspects.
Gang violence a possibility given his personal history.

And could be heard from the office of the president-elect,
I got the victory, so don’t mess with Barry.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Larry Summers Was Right

I know that 2005 seems like a century ago but in that scant amount of time what caused Larry Summers to be ridiculed proved prescient. In January 2005, William Saletan posted to the Slate blog the following:
“Larry Summers, the president of Harvard, suggested the other day that innate differences between the sexes might help explain why relatively few women become professional scientists or engineers. For this, he has been denounced—metaphorically, of course—as a Neanderthal. Alumni are withholding donations. Professors are demanding apologies. Some want him fired.”

We all know the rest of the story. He did get dismissed from the “fair and open-minded” Harvard University. But that ended up as a great career move. Now Summers is part of the One’s economic dream team. But the economy is not what this post is about.

As someone who defines herself as a conservative feminist, I am proud to say, ”Viva la difference!”
I like the fact that there are real men in the world who fight wars, play sports, swill beer and admire women. Those same men supported Sarah Palin because they saw in her a woman who wasn’t afraid of being a woman. They also liked the fact that she exercised her choices to learn how to hunt and fish, but still remained true to who she is, a mom, a wife, and a leader. It was only the metrosexual men in academia; you know the same ones who supported BHO and gay marriage. These guys wax their chests, legs and arms. They wear designer cologne and would never be caught dead in Cabela’s. They know how to order appletinis and foie gras, but could never figure out how to field dress a moose. So where am I going with this? Read on.

One of the keys to the selection of BHO for the American Idol president was the unmarried woman vote. As I have pondered this, I wondered what would cause this voting block to vote against a man’s man and a feminist. Then I heard of Summers’ appointment, it all flooded back to me. There are differences in the sexes. Unmarried women want someone to take care of them to free them, if you will, from the drudgery of work and provide for their every need. Well with the dating pool full of metros that won’t pay for anything and are more interested in getting the name of your manicurist than your contact info, it must have been the fantasy of a metrosexual who promised to take care of them. Not only did he sip lattes but he would pay their rent! He would also pay off their student loans; provide child care, gasoline, and a monthly clothing allowance. Now these women got to project their idea of the perfect man onto a candidate who was an empty screen waiting to be made into whatever you wanted him to be.

With the economy crashing in around them and no “bailout” for individuals on the horizon, I trust that the one-day stand and the day-after-the-night-before regrets will force women to act wiser in how they cast their votes in the future.